Equestrian’s are pretty unique people. Most people say we’re horse crazy, but I say it’s being equine eccentric! And there are some things that only Equestrian’s will understand, like how to clean a geldings sheath, or what a sheath is! But there are some serious facts that probably make you more Equestrian than anyone else. Here are my top 10!
1. You smell funny all the time but don’t care anymore. Your horse doesn’t care that you smell like a horse, so why should you? I like to call it perfume de horse. Plus, I always forget how dirty I am anyway. Anything white especially attracts horse slobber and dirt. Who are these non-horsey, perfect smelling people to judge!
2. There’s always a stash of carrots somewhere. I mean, are you really a horse owner if you don’t have a stash of carrots or horse treats? It’s definitely not unusual to be known as the carrot lady.
3. You start eating all the stashed carrots. You can’t be the carrot lady unless you start eating the carrots too.
4. You’ve forgotten what a leg tan looks like. “Look at my nice tan!” said no horse rider ever. And it’s actually got a name too, RIDERS TAN. It means you have pasty white legs paired with nice tan arms.
5. You have flashbacks of getting zapped by the electric fence. Remember that time you grabbed the electric fence because you thought it was off? Or the time you tried to duck under the fence but didn’t duck quite enough? It’s our own equestrian version of ‘The Hunger Games’. May the electric fence be ever in your favour.
6. You RSVP no to an event because you’re more horse than human now. I suspect that horses have some kinda of telepathic mind control. “Stay home with the horses! It’s too peopley out there!”
7. You can never just ‘window shop’ at a saddlery. EVER. It’s like a disease, and it can only be cured by purchasing something completely unnecessary and absurdly expensive. We would probably notice the saddlery owner standing in the corner of the store twiddling his fingers and muttering “muhahaha” under his breath, but we’re too busy trying to colour match everything.
8. You’re a pro at ignoring your bank account balance because of said saddlery. Bank statements. You just don’t need that kind of negativity in your life!
9. You horse spam everywhere. Literally EVERYWHERE. Facebook, Instagram, blogging. You name it, we’ve spammed it. Extra points if you have some kind of horse photo shrine at home or work. Ignore the neigh-sayers I say!
10. You wonder what it would be like to have an inside horse. Who hasn’t analysed the size of their house to fit a horse inside? It’s bigger than a stable isn’t it? I imagine any inside horse would be a proud horse. “Do you like my human? I trained her myself!” is probably what they’re thinking, as they make themselves comfortable on the lounge.
So there you have it. 10 sure enough facts that make you an Equestrian!
Cover photo credit; Christine Johnson
This blog is the personal opinion and experience of the author. You should always seek the advice of a professional horse riding instructor or trainer for your own specific situation or circumstance.